Personals Advice and Tips for Singles

Using personals and online dating sites are all the rage these days. To gain an edge, it helps to know how to write personal ads effectively. This will increase your chances to get quality responses from the type of singles you seek.

Advice on Writing Personals

Here are some tips for writing better personal ads and introduction letters.

The premise for good personal writing is to "sell yourself." You do this by sounding as if you are approachable by emphasizing your best points and through not making disastrous mistakes. Every word will be considered by others. Don't give any reason to reject you, or sound as if you would reject them. The idea is to get as many letters from different people as possible. After you corresponded and talked with them agile an, you and they can better make a decision about whether to move the relationship toward a higher level. And most important of all--be honest. Tell about the person you are, not the person you want to be.

Nine general rules that might be helpful:

1. This rule is the first one for a reason: Sell yourself, don't sell the type of person you are looking for. Others will read your letter to find out about you not the type of person they are looking for. When you start listing all the things you are looking for in a mate, what are you doing? You are getting more and more specific about your "ideal partner" and that rapidly narrows your pool of potentials. No one has exactly all of the qualities you are looking for. If you are less specific about what you are looking for, you may receive a letter from a wonderful person with a lot to offer, that you might not have normally considered. By being so exacting and specific in the type of person, you are throwing away a lot of possibilities. And, if you do get a letter from someone who doesn't match your interests, you can always turn them down in a polite letter. The idea is to get as many letters as possible. In the search for that special someone, volume is always better. A happily married couple visited our office on their wedding anniversary. The lady reported receiving more than 100 letters from her Country Connections subscription and didn't know what to do. She let her father read through the letters and he gave her one and said, "This guy's a keeper, you better write him." She did and the rest is history. They have now been married five years.

2. This is one for the men. Stop writing that you are looking for a "slender woman." Guys, have you ever met a woman who thought she was slender? No offense to the women who are reading this but nearly all will say they would like to lose a few pounds. When a guy writes that he is looking for a slender woman, that is akin to writing that they are looking for a super model. Many will be afraid to write. Men have more tolerance for body types than they think.

3. This is one for the women. Many men want a slender woman and the women want a "guy." To a man nothing sends up a red flag faster than writing about his finances. Have you ever meet a man who said he wants a woman to marry him for his money? Although they might act like boys with costly toys, men want to be loved for who they are, not how much they have. Writing how you are looking for a financially secure guy, is going to scare a lot of men off and limit your responses.

4. Men, believe it or not, how well you make a living counts for a lot in your attractiveness. If you can't hold a job, save money, pay your bills and be financially responsible, you need to set your loneliness aside and start improving yourself. It wouldn't be fair to you or the woman to bring her into a relationship where you are not floating above the financial waters. Financially security is important but don't flaunt it.

5. Ladies: physical attractiveness is important. A healthy, active woman is more attractive than one who is sedentary and unmotivated. If you can live a more healthy lifestyle, it could aid you in your search for that special some˙one. If you are exercising or doing things to improve your health, they could be a selling point if used subtly.

6. Some people are afraid to reveal their age or weight and leave those questions vague. To someone reading your letter, this could appear as though you have something to hide. Letters and profiles are not the place to be deceptive. It is best be open and show who you really are.

7. Subscribers who send pictures to be published with their personal profile always seem to get more letters. And more letters means a high probability of success. However, don't send just any picture. If you don't have a good picture, have a friend taken of you. Remember, people are going to to be looking at your photo and using it to help them decide if they want to write a letter. Please provide us with a flattering photo. We have received them but driver's license photos and pictures with a former spouse are not real helpful. Neither are pictures taken 10 or 20 years ago. The best photos show happy, pleasant to be around people.

8. Even though the profile form is the same for everyone, you have an opportunity to write about yourself at the bottom of the form. Use this space to write something original and creative. Be yourself. Be different from the other subscribers. Make yourself standout. as a person with something unique and wonderful to offer to others. The more information you provide the easier it is for our staff to prepare your profile. We remember the lady who wrote, "I can dig postholes with the best of them." Her profile stood out and she received lots of mail.

9. When it comes to hobbies and leisure activities men like men things and women like women things. Fortunately, our interests sometimes crossover and we find things in common with someone ease. And common ground is the number one reason we enter into relationships with others. When writing every word becomes important for selling yourself. That is why both men and women should first include those hobbies and interests which would also be of interest to others. If you are a woman who likes to watch college football, by all means list this. And men if you like to cook, women would consider that a golden nugget of information.

Safe Dating Tips : Don't be too quick in revealing your name, address and telephone number. Get to know the person you are corresponding with first. On first dates we suggest you meet at a neutral location, perhaps at a cafe, shopping mall, fair or similar event.

Happy Online Dating!

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